Thursday, February 17, 2011

Computer and Technology Genius that I am...

Post also appropriately titled; "Liar that I am..."

Yeaaaah....um...I actually just lied to you. I am not a computer or technological genius. Forgive me. I actually don't even like technology. Obviously to survive in the society I live in I use it all, but I do so rather begrudgingly. I can use computers and such in an effective manner, but I do not find them exciting and I most certainly do not understand how it is that they work (nor do I want to).

For months now my printer has been sending me ominous threats, complete with foreboding little inky images on the lower right side of my computer screen. "INK RUNNING LOW" every time I go to print/copy something.


It has literally been telling me for probably 6 months at least (not sure what it was so excited about it) that my black in cartridge was on its way out. It recommended I do something about it. But I didn't. Two reasons: #1- logically, I wanted to use ALL the ink in there and I was letting it run completely to the point of dry. And #2- I didn't know how to change it.

But it just kept printing and printing, black as ever. I print things on a very regular basis and I was beginning to think I had a miraculously never-ending ink cartridge, a liken to the never emptying jar of oil belonging to the widow in the Biblical book of 1 Kings. I thought maybe it would just print properly and I would never have to worry about it FOR ALL ETERNITY! Saves money. Saves me having to learn how to change it. SCORE!!!

But...all good things tend to reach an end. Today, as I was printing a draft of an (terribly unpleasant) essay due for English class on Friday, it stopped being miraculous. First page printed a-okay, but pages 2-6 were printed with only every fourth line and those were barely visible. Of course. (*curse you non-magical ink, you!)

I had more ink cartridges stashed in my file cabinet upon which the printer sits, I was just afraid to touch them (not even kidding. Yes, I am THAT un-technological.). But I sucked it up. I had to print the essay so I could edit it. I would also have to print it to hand it in. The deed had to be done.

AND I DID IT!

I opened up that printer and began. The battle raged for several hours at most epic proportions.
*if PG-13 rated gore frightens you, I warn you to look away now!
Blood Ink spattered everywhere, pooling all around me like fresh fallen rain. Black rain ever dropping from the fearsome like no other 210XLblackPG-210xl (WHAT does that even mean!? I think it is the monster's name.).My limbs now hang weak at my side with fatigue. My spirits should soar for my accomplishment, but are to heavy, worn to a point of thinness from my efforts.
I won, but was the victory sweet? I don't know that the images I saw today will ever leave my mind...so much ink...so dark...the horror of it all! In battles won something is always lost...

BUT I DID IT! I CHANGED THAT INK CARTRIDGE AND LIVED TO TELL YOU MY TALE!

I  am a genius, I am telling you. A brave, brave, brave, genius.

Okay. I lied again. I'm a story teller. I'm just doing my job! Obviously ink-changing is way more interesting if I bump it up to a hyperbolic and epic level, second only to Beowulf itself.

In all honestly and without melodramatic flourish, it was actually the easiest thing ever and it took maybe 75 seconds. I opened it up, took the thing out, popped in a new one, shut it, and hit print. Who knew?! Now I do! And so do you! 

Pointless but successful blog post? Check!

2 comments:

emily michael said...

bahahaha! Bella, I love you.

and I've decided that i'm always going to let you know what kind of crazy word verification the blog comes up with for me. Today, it is "squaniza"...what does that mean???

chelsea rebecca said...

bahah this is so great! i love very detailed stories of pointless things! so wonderful!

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