Thursday, March 29, 2012

I am not normal...

Never have, never will be. No idea what normal is, but I know for certain that I am not it.

I got engaged in February to an Airman. In on May 26th I will marry that Airman. On June 3rd, that Airman husband I will have only just acquired will be leaving for 6 months for Qatar.

That is not normal. Tell me if I am wrong, but normal people generally get engaged, plan a wedding for a good couple months, have a big hoopla wedding, have a honeymoon and settle down together in their new home. I am almost sure that most people don't get married for 8 days and then not see each other for 6 months.

But military people do.

I realize I am getting myself into a whole new life style- a whole knew world- that can only be related to by the people in it. There are many women in my same position and same life style who do understand this life I am about to get myself into. But those aren't the women...or the people...I am currently surrounded by. a lot of people just don't...get it. Civilians can't quite wrap their minds around that which is the military...

As I find myself trying to explain to people that JoJo and I are getting married in 2 months, just before he deploys, I am getting a lot of varying responses. Many, many people have been incredibly wonderful and supportive. Several people just look sad for me. "oh you poor thing." And then there is the lot of people who just kind of go "may...this may?" "yes, he deploys in June..." "ohh...well...that's... nice..." and then they awkwardly laugh and don't make eye contact. It is slightly disheartening.

All throughout my long distance, complicated military relationship with JoJo there have been the people who have either just been bewildered by me, or tried to tell me why I shouldn't put myself through this. The ones who have said "Bella, you could have any guy, and there are lots of great guys in this state. Why put yourself through the long distance thing?" "why do you want to do this to yourself" or " Isn't the military stressful? Do you really want that life?"

Yes, there are many, many guys close by. But they aren't JoJo.
No, long distance isn't fun. It is actually physically painful to be separated from the one person you want to be with and yet you are unable to do anything about it. JoJo's been in the Air Force for 19 months and has lived in 4 different states in that time period. Out of the near 2 years he has been in, I have been in the same location and able to spend time with him a total of 38 days.
Yes, it is a little stressful. The military is a whole different way of life. For a person who loves details and planning in advance, the thought of living under "what the Air Force says, goes" stresses me out just a little.
Despite all that, yes. I want that life. No, not forever, but for now. Because I love JoJo. I know he was made for me by God. God put him in the military. So, therefore I was made for this. I would not trade him or this for anything.

I have no idea how I am going to handle this. The whole "military wife" thing is a concept I am still trying to wrap my mind around. No, a 6 month deployment to Qatar is not at all a big deal. There are much scarier places, and much longer time frames. I'll be home with my family until he returns. We'll be able to skype and call. We'll make do. But it sure won't be fun. Especially just after we get married. A lot so far hasn't been fun, but it has all been worth it.

Sure, the military does put a very...interesting...spin on life. But ultimately, what God says goes. We are both in his care, under his plan. Not the Air Force, not the military, not America. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I am trying to focus on the other positive aspects, like how strong this will make the two of us. How we will never be able to take each other for granted. And how I will be become bilingual (English, with military acronyms as a second language). And its an adventure like no other. God has been faithful thus far and he will get us through all this and everything after it. Failure never has been and never will be an option.

All that being said....Hua.


Marisa said...

When it's the right person long distance is worth it! As much as it hurts to be apart, the time together is so much better than if we were with the wrong person all the time. Keep going and trusting God.

Also, one more benefit of a long distance relationships is that you can get all creative in the packages you send and improve package packing techniques that make for you to squeeze the most amount of things in a flat rate box!

Cara said...

Hello sweet lady!!! I found your blog via Kinsey's and am so glad that I did. I'm your newest follower, AND your sister in Christ! Sweet! xoxo

Megan Mahoney said...

HEY NEW BIG SISTER IN-LAW!!!! Love you and are trying to wait for the wedding but i am too exciited!!! I am hoping we can have a sleepover (Tias idea at the roller rink) before the wedding txt me!


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