Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Yes, I still do hate Valentine's day, thanks for asking...


Remember this post? About my holiday killjoy-ish and anti-valentine's-dayness? Last year? At a time that was prior (but only by a few days) to JoJo and I?

In case you were wondering, yes, I still do feel that way.

I had several interesting conversations over the last couple days involving my stance on Vday. APPARENTLY people seemed to think I never liked it because "I never had someone."

Let me just clarify that right now: *NO* Wrong. Inaccurate. Not correct. Uh-Uh.

#1- lets not pretend I was a hopeless single moping around, dreaming and hoping cupid would come along and shoot a prince charming in the backside with a love arrow so I would be lonely no more. No way, no how. I was single for 20 years and liked it that way, thankyouverymuch. No regrets whatsoever.
#2- no. I was not covering up some deep emotional longing by acting like I hated Valentine's day. I actually did.

I still do. A lot. Not just because I am a scrooge and a killjoy against holiday commercialization, but because I am very against the notion of having a designated holiday to celebrate being in love. I am against having a holiday that pretty much requires people to do loving things for each other. I am of the mind set that if I love someone (*and we all know who that is*) that I would tell that person daily. That I would act like I loved that person daily. That I would do things that expressed my love for that person daily. That there would be random "just because" type gifts and cute cards and whatnot not because the calendar told me to, but because those things were all GENUINE expressions of my love. I want to live love. Not pencil it in on my calendar when I can manage to find the time.

Basically, I am against the whole "acting upon being loving" thing on Valentines day in the same way that I am against "lets all suddenly be thankful on Thanksgiving day." I don't like a calendar telling me when I should express which emotions (and I don't like being told what to do, period. Have you notice?). Especially if those emotions tend to get seemingly neglected the rest of the time.

Yes. I am odd. Noted.

If you like chocolates and roses on Valentine's Day, then I hope your dearly beloved gets you some. Seriously. If that is how ya'll choose to celebrate the love that you have and you are happy with it that way, then by all means, have at those chocolates!

*side note: I am utterly baffled by all the "my wonderful boyfriend surprised me with chocolates and flowers! he is just the best!" statuses today. Uhm...did you not look at your calendar this morning? It's Valentines day. Not much of a surprise, if you ask me. Surprise means you *don't* know it's coming. Now my boyfriend, he knows a a thing or two about surprises, but that is another story...

But...I don't want that. (I think I am missing some sort of female gene? This is clearly not normal.) Roses, chocolates, and red and pink cards shaped like un-anatomically correct vital organs just on February 14th just aren't for me. Maybe I don't know what I am talking about, but I don't really see this opinion of mine ever changing. Not now, not ever. However, I am very much in love and I definitely don't see that changing. Ever.

I have always felt like this about Vday, but I think my relationship with JoJo has only made me dislike it more (ironic...?). If anything (out of the many things I have learned after *almost* a year of long-distancing it), this relationship has taught me never to take JoJo, or the time I do get to spend with him, for granted. I don't get to really pick when I see him. I don't see him on birthdays. Or holidays. Whether Hallmark says I have to or not. So I have come to a point of celebrating just *being* with him whenever I can. We make our own holidays.We specialize in "just because." And that is a concept I want to hold onto, beyond the point of there being distance between us.

But, even if we were together, we would not be celebrating Valentine's Day in any normal manner.

Oh, and by the way, guess what? No surprise, but my dearly beloved, who has thought processes as twisted as mine, feels the exact same way about commercialized holidays such as Valentine's day (and about being told what to do...). Perrrrfect.


Ellie said...

This holiday HAS gotten twisted around a little bit! I'm pretty sure the original meaning behind it was in remembrance of the martyr St. Valentino... like you said, we should be giving chocolate, roses and tokens of our love for people just because we love them... not because the calender says to.

Johannah Ziegler-Ritter said...

I'm a Valentine's Day hater for all the same reasons you are. Last February was my first Vday with a boyfriend (we are also long-distance, though not nearly as long), and I had the same reaction from my friends. They all assumed that now that I had a boyfriend I would magically love Valentine's Day. I don't, and we did absolutely nothing. However, I'm also not complaining that this year my boyfriend used it as an excuse to drive two hours to spend the afternoon which he never does because we can't afford the gas/tolls. Since we both hate Valentine's day he chose to do it that day because he knew it would actually surprise me unlike all those people who know they're going to get something and still claim to be "surprised." :)


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