Thursday, March 29, 2012

I am not normal...

Never have, never will be. No idea what normal is, but I know for certain that I am not it.

I got engaged in February to an Airman. In on May 26th I will marry that Airman. On June 3rd, that Airman husband I will have only just acquired will be leaving for 6 months for Qatar.

That is not normal. Tell me if I am wrong, but normal people generally get engaged, plan a wedding for a good couple months, have a big hoopla wedding, have a honeymoon and settle down together in their new home. I am almost sure that most people don't get married for 8 days and then not see each other for 6 months.

But military people do.

I realize I am getting myself into a whole new life style- a whole knew world- that can only be related to by the people in it. There are many women in my same position and same life style who do understand this life I am about to get myself into. But those aren't the women...or the people...I am currently surrounded by. a lot of people just don't...get it. Civilians can't quite wrap their minds around that which is the military...

As I find myself trying to explain to people that JoJo and I are getting married in 2 months, just before he deploys, I am getting a lot of varying responses. Many, many people have been incredibly wonderful and supportive. Several people just look sad for me. "oh you poor thing." And then there is the lot of people who just kind of go "may...this may?" "yes, he deploys in June..." "ohh...well...that's... nice..." and then they awkwardly laugh and don't make eye contact. It is slightly disheartening.

All throughout my long distance, complicated military relationship with JoJo there have been the people who have either just been bewildered by me, or tried to tell me why I shouldn't put myself through this. The ones who have said "Bella, you could have any guy, and there are lots of great guys in this state. Why put yourself through the long distance thing?" "why do you want to do this to yourself" or " Isn't the military stressful? Do you really want that life?"

Yes, there are many, many guys close by. But they aren't JoJo.
No, long distance isn't fun. It is actually physically painful to be separated from the one person you want to be with and yet you are unable to do anything about it. JoJo's been in the Air Force for 19 months and has lived in 4 different states in that time period. Out of the near 2 years he has been in, I have been in the same location and able to spend time with him a total of 38 days.
Yes, it is a little stressful. The military is a whole different way of life. For a person who loves details and planning in advance, the thought of living under "what the Air Force says, goes" stresses me out just a little.
Despite all that, yes. I want that life. No, not forever, but for now. Because I love JoJo. I know he was made for me by God. God put him in the military. So, therefore I was made for this. I would not trade him or this for anything.

I have no idea how I am going to handle this. The whole "military wife" thing is a concept I am still trying to wrap my mind around. No, a 6 month deployment to Qatar is not at all a big deal. There are much scarier places, and much longer time frames. I'll be home with my family until he returns. We'll be able to skype and call. We'll make do. But it sure won't be fun. Especially just after we get married. A lot so far hasn't been fun, but it has all been worth it.

Sure, the military does put a very...interesting...spin on life. But ultimately, what God says goes. We are both in his care, under his plan. Not the Air Force, not the military, not America. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I am trying to focus on the other positive aspects, like how strong this will make the two of us. How we will never be able to take each other for granted. And how I will be become bilingual (English, with military acronyms as a second language). And its an adventure like no other. God has been faithful thus far and he will get us through all this and everything after it. Failure never has been and never will be an option.

All that being said....Hua.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Wedding inspiration boards are my new addiction....

... just take a look. I've been making them all over the place. Style Me Pretty, The Knot, Once Wed, and Wedding Wire are all great sites to get wedding inspiration!

Couple boards from Style Me Pretty that I created:

Also, made a PINTREST account. People kept telling me it was a great place to get inspiration and I that I would love it because I am crafty.... I do not yet love it? Seems kinds sub-par to all the other wedding inspo sites I've been one. Kinda fun just to browse but...not my new favorite.
But any how...
Follow Me on Pinterest

Monday, March 26, 2012

Various Wedding Preparations and Purchases....

Our outdoor, garden/farm wedding is going to have a bit of a ...flowery...vintage....acclectic...theme with a color scheme of...spring.

Translation: I, bella, am making this all up as I go based on my own likes and preferences. Nothing will really match or look formal and a whole lot of it will be thrifted, DIY and random. I could try and create a color scheme and definite plan but...I'm wearing white, he is wearing Air Force Blues, and the Bridal party will be in orange. We will be outside with green grass and bright flowers. Why bother with a color scheme. The setting and scheme is just...bright...

I have been hopping around to various thrift stores and antique shops and collecting items and pairing them with craft store good and a lil' creativity. So far:

I designed and had professionally printed our wedding invites (and the printer, who had done business with my father before, gifted us the $300 worth of invites, envelopes and response cards for free as a wedding gift!). With the help of my some aunts, my mom, my future mother in law and some friends and sisters we got those a babies addressed and they are in the mail!

I created a wedding website for our wedding day and also as a means for people to RSVP. I did it through a great site called Wedding Wire (although after I had finished our site I realized there is a site which offers the same service but it is called Wedding JoJo. Needless to say I was disappointed in myself on that one!)

I have created 2 foot tall faux-metal letters (a J and B) out of cardboard and paint (to look like the $98 each zinc letters from Anthopology).

We've large collected large mason jars and ribbons to tie on them for our hand picked wildflower and fern table arrangements.

I've bought some random antique embroidered table clothes to use. I've also bought a couple cute special vases to to put on main tables and such. My favorite is a hand painted blue pitcher I got at an antique store for $10.

We've been collecting various crystal glasses and plates at thrift stores to create dessert stands like these for our cupcakes and canolli (instead of traditional wedding cake).

We bought this birdcage to use for collecting our wedding cards. As soon as it arrives I will be spray painting it some fun color.

A friend and I made 3 "fairy crowns" out of bark covered wire and orange, yellow and white for our 3 flower girls (2 of my sisters and one of his), similar to this one (but more little girlish!)

I am looking for doilies to make 2 ring bearer pillows like these, for my two ring bearing brothers.

I've been sorting through photos of JoJo and I to create a photo clothesline/time line, like these, of our lives and relationship to hang in the tents.

And I've been spending my little free time on wedding inspiration sites and blogs and emailing my mom things like this, this, this and this.

All of this on top of regular wedding shopping and appointments! The table in my room is so completely buried underneath all my projects and collected items, and the wedding is still 2 months away! EEK! But it will all be worth it when I marry my Airman at our lovely outdoor wedding! Stay tuned for more!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Getting married is quite the chore...

So, I am getting married in 64 days. No big deal. The reality sure hasn't sunk in yet, although I do have sudden moments of mind blowing realization, but what has sunk in is WEDDINGS ARE A LOT OF WORK!

JoJo and I, no matter the time frame we had to plan, or even if we had a budget of 50 zillion dollars, always wanted a small, family centered, non-traditional outdoorsy wedding. And seeing as I am non-conventional about most aspects of my life, it shouldn't surprise you that I am non-conventional as a bride-to-be either.

When I was 14, I went on a mission trip to Chile. Great trip, had nothing to do with weddings, but had a lot to do with dysfunctional relationships of team members (many long stories, of which details don't matter). Up until that point in my life I had no intention of getting married. Most of the time I planned on living in the woods by myself and being a falconer/ raptor rehabilitator forever. But during that trip I decide that I was going to someday get married and that I was going to do things right. At that point I made all sorts of very serious decisions about how I was going to do things and what I would do in the mean time. That included praying for the guy I would someday marry (funny thing: Within months of all this occurring some 15 year old kid name JoJo randomly came to my church and got forward 7 years and we are getting married. God is cool like that.).

Upon getting back from the trip I walked into my church sanctuary, which they had renovated in the time I was gone and put up hideous acoustic panels on the wall. At that point I raised my right hand and swore to honor God, and still get married, but not to get married in that building. I am sticking with that. I love my church, but it isn't lovely in photos. From that point on I began planning the wedding I would someday have with the one and only man that God had created for me. It being outside was of the utmost importance. (I know some Christians strongly believe in getting married in a church, particularly in their own, because they want their wedding to be "in the eyes of God." I agree very much with wanted my wedding to be in the eyes of God and that is crucially important, but I do not believe God's eyes are limited to any particular place. I believe in God's omnipresence. My wedding will certainly be within his reaches!)

So my 64 day away wedding will be taking place on my grandparent's farm. When I was 14, I also thought it might be nice to get married in the rain, but since then I have rethought that and have decided, as much as I love rain, not to subject my friends and family to it on my wedding day. JoJo proposed in the rain. That is good enough for perfect me. So please, pray for nice weather on May 26th (tents as a back up plan, though!). We will be doing the ceremony (with our wonderful youth pastor as the officiant) before our family and friends (we wanted small and then realized we had huge families, so our guest list is at 200!). The ceremony will be followed by a picnic-style reception, also at my grandparent's beautiful property.

Another part of my wedding that was set in stone from age 14 on was a "retina burnin' white wedding dress." There were a couple years were I joked about wearing my friend's red and black gothic tutu (just because I am fond of rebellion), but I always knew my dress would be *WHITE*. JoJo and I joke about people having to wear sunglasses at the wedding. Long story short, I put a lot of effort into earning a white wedding dress. Its needing to be white was a non-negotiable.

And guess what? A couple Saturday's ago my mom and I went second-hand wedding dress shopping (as we are expert thrifters!) for *7 hours* and at our last stop, Savers, we found a BEAUTIFUL dress, very close to my size, in a style that suited me, for $69.99. It was used, but in lovely condition and it was made in the USA (I refused to buy a dress from a big name bridal store because I try to avoid supporting any company that isn't fair trade and uses sweatshops in their product manufacturing.) And $70 beautiful dress? It was WHITE. God is so good.
I wish I could better describe it to you, but you will have to wait until after the wedding for pictures! No dress-info leaks allowed!

This post is getting long and overwhelming, so I will cut myself off now. There will have to be more posts telling of all the thrifting, DIY-ing and preparations that have been going on in planning this wedding.  (*more posts over HERE on my mom's blog) Originally, 3 months seemed like a horridly short amount of time to pull a wedding together, but God, as usual, is being faithful and again and again we are being surprised by His goodness in helping us to make this wedding happen.  I am trying to remain calm and not sweat the small stuff. (will the flower girls shoes, or the sauce we serve on chicken have any long term effect on my marriage? No.) No bridezilla's allowed. Big picture, the wedding doesn't matter. The marriage does.
 Between all the planning and prep, as well as full time school and part time work, I am getting more and more excited. Stay tuned for more updates!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I rather like to believe...

...that somewhere in my Hungarian blood there is gypsy. I am really a mix of many things, but I mainly hold to my Hungarian/Magyar heritage (except for my stomach. it is definitely Italian).
My family claims no gypsy (Carpathian Romani, if you want to be specific to Hungary) relations, but...I doubt it. I'm a gypsy. In my mind, and possibly fractionally so in reality.

*i was dressed like this for a "motion" photoshoot I was doing for school. But I honestly dress like this quite often. One of my favorite shirts. And that skirt is like my prized possession. It has a few unfortunate bleach spots, but as long as I do lots of spinning, no one can tell.

Friday, March 16, 2012

quoteables- here's to the crazy ones....

I liked this quote. It is rather self explanatory, so I will keep this post short and sweet. I have a wedding to plan, people...

  • "here's to the crazy ones. the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. they're not fond of the rules and have no respect for the status quo. you can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. about the only thing you can't do is ignore them. because they change things, they push the human race forward. and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." — Jack Kerouac (novelist)

Saturday, March 10, 2012

More on Tonski Time...

Yes, I do realize I owe you a post about the engagement story, but instead you are going to get a post about why I haven't had enough time to post about the engagement story in the last couple weeks. You see...I'm very busy...planning...A WEDDING.

A wedding in 77 days, nonetheless.

Yes. JoJo and I are going to be getting married on May 26th of this year. While a 3 month engagement is short (and yes, we know this is crazy to try to pull off) we decided together, after much thought and prayer, that it is how we want to do things. Not that we are rushing or anything, it is just that JoJo will be deploying for 6 months to the country of Qatar come June and he and I want to make the commitment of marriage before that.

We will be having a small, outdoor, mostly family, picnic-y and casual wedding at my grandparent's farm 8 days before he leaves. The plans are coming along quite nicely and we are very, very excited about it. But we, along with our families and friends, have been mighty busy. Now onto of my already busy school and work schedule, I am planning a spring wedding. And trying to wrap my mind around the fact that in under 3 months I will be a wife. A military wife. (In case you were wondering I will stay with my family on the east coast, up until he returns from the deployment. They we will see to moving me to the west coast where JoJo is stationed.)

All that being said, you can see why blog posts will be few and far between. But I will *TRY* and keep you posted on all the excitement as best as I can, so follow along with us on our adventure!

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